Non Compos Mentis
by Ayla-K711
Summary: Goodwin. Yes, he told us all about you, Ana how he thought you were worthy, and that he could change you. SANA.
1. In The Jungle

**Title:** Non Compos Mentis  
**Rating:** R (just in case)  
**Pairing:** Sawyer/Ana-Lucia  
**Summary:** "He kept saying you were misunderstood."  
**Warnings:** This could get Dark.. and.. Darkerer.  
**Disclaimer:** If i owned anything things would be much much different.

**Non Compos Mentis**

There was something in the bushes. Stumbling through the dense jungle – too human to be an animal or a monster, but too clumsy to be one of the others that had inhabited the island.

This however, did not prevent Sawyer from reaching for the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans.

He looked to the man behind him. Good ol' Doctor Jack had tracked him down in yet another attempt at getting to his stash of guns. Sawyer of course had led him astray. And Jack now wished he hadn't tried to follow Sawyer at all. Something was out there and he now had to rely on Sawyer, not exactly the doctor's favourite person on the island, for protection… He almost laughed aloud at the thought.

"Come out come out whoever you are." Sawyer teased his voice in a sing-song, gun at the ready. Slowly, cautiously, fearfully a pair of cut and bruised feet stepped out into the clearing. Sawyer found himself face to face with a battered and bruised Ana-Lucia.

-Flashback-

_The B-tch had stolen his gun, and was no doubt getting herself killed.  
The four of them were now heading back towards the hatch. Sawyer in the lead -- followed by Jack who still had a gun trained on the southerners' head. Kate and Locke taking up the rear. _

Only when he heard the hatch's alarm going off in the distance did he truly start to panic. Only then did he truly fear for Ana's life.

Forgetting the gun pointed at the back of his skull, Sawyer broke into a sprint, leaving the others behind as they continued to stand there in confusion.

In no time he had reached the hatch entrance, which to his surprise was wide open – a bloodied handprint on the door. Sawyers heart raced as he ran to the hatch's 'lounge'.

He scanned the room… no sign of her…

The alarms shrill cry ceased – Locke must have gotten to the computer.

"Sawyer!" he heard Kate and Jack calling his name.

"Sawyer!" the call came from inside the room this time.  
He spun around to see Michael, coughing and spluttering as he crawled along the floor of the doorway leading to the bunks. He clutched his arm as blood was seeping out of a bullet wound.

The Armoury door - henrys makeshift cell - was also open. Ignoring the injured man on the ground he ran to it. Stopping in the doorway as his eyes widened at the sight.

No Henry Gale.

No Ana Lucia.

The ropes that had bound Henry had been cut loose, the remains left lying on the cold cement with a bloodied army knife with it.

So much blood…

There in the middle of the floor was a large puddle of blood. A mass of red amongst the grey - Sawyer had a feeling that it wasn't Henrys.

"He shot me!" He heard Michael yell to the others that had finally made it back to the hatch. "He shot me and he took her!"

Sawyer squeezed his eyelids tight, face a gamut of emotions. He ran a hand through his hair.

The B-tch has stolen his gun, and had gotten herself kidnapped.

-End Flashback-

"Ana... It's me, Sawyer." He slowly edged closer to the trembling woman, taking in her appearance. Her entire body was covered in cuts and bruises, her hair covering her face. He usual outfit – a black singlet and jeans. Had been replaced with a white, short-sleeved gown, the type you wear when you get yourself a visit to the hospital.

"What if she doesn't remember? Like Claire." Jack followed in Sawyers steps, edging closer to Ana, his arms open so she knew they weren't a threat.

"Sawyer." As if on cue, Ana spoke. Sawyer was surprised when she spoke, what was usually a strong, fearless 'I'll kick your ass' voice was now that of a child's, small and innocent. Nothing like the Ana he knew.

"W-where am I?" Her voice cracked and her eyes began to water. "I don't know whats going on." Her whole body shook as the tears began to overcome her. Sawyer took her in his arms. "shh, it's okay." He stroked her hair, holding her tightly as she cried into his chest.

"We need to get her out of here." Jack looked around anxiously. "who knows who might be coming for her."

"She is in no shape to be walking doc." Sawyer turned to Jack. They were a fairs walk away from the camp and Ana looked like she couldn't walk any further, her feet resisting the urge to collapse from under her.

"I know." Jacks eyes met Sawyers, and he nodded in understanding.  
He stepped back from Ana, and his blue eyes locked with her dark ones.

"I'm sorry."

And with one hit she was unconscious in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

-Flashback-

_"How are we doing today Ana?" Henry gale smile sweetly, a long white coat was hanging over his usual attire. _

_The room was empty, bright white walls and floors made the place look clean, sterile, not normal._

_"That's good to hear" He replied, although no answer was given. He looked to the unconscious Ana._

_She sat straight strapped to the cold metal chair. Her head was lolled to one side, wires fastened to her forehead and bare arms – which were cuffed to the arm rests, her feet cuffed to the legs of the chair._

_The wires connected to a little machine placed on the desk beside her. "Well Ana," Gale cupped her face in his hand, admiring her sleeping form.__  
__"How about we make this day even better?" __  
__And with a sadistic grin, he flipped the machines switch. _

_Ana's whole body shook as an electric current surged through her body, waking her from her slumber._

_The Machine beeped, the sound getting faster and faster._

_Ana Screamed._

-End Flashback-

"Ana! Ana wake up!" A voice was calling out to her from the black, drawing her out of her unconsciousness. "Ana!"

Her eyes snapped open.

The first thing she saw was a strong pair of arms clamped down on her shoulders. She bolted upright, Shoving her captor hard in the chest – sending him flying into the far side wall.

"Easy Chica! That ain't no way to treat your rescuers!"

Ana's head whipped to the side, Sawyer stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest, a smug look on his face.

Jack got to his feet. Dusting himself off as Ana took stock of her surroundings. She was in the hatch's 'bedroom', she got up from the bed, bare feet touching the cold floor.

Locke and Kate stood off to the to the side, Locke no longer needing his crutched to walk.

How long had she been gone?

She loked to Jack. "Sorry Man." She said, voice unsteady.  
"Are you okay?" Jack asked her.  
Ana Nodded, "I think so."

"You were screaming."  
Ana turned to face Kate. "What?"  
Kate inched further into the wall, a slight hint of fear on her features. "I-In your sleep… you were screaming."  
"Bad dream?" Locke Asked.

She shook her head. "It was nothing."  
Ana looked to the ground, not wanting to share what she had dreamt. The mere thought of it sending shivers down her spine.  
Ana knew it wasn't just a dream. Henry had tortured her – for reasons unknown to her – and he would have done it more than once.

"Sure didn't sound like nothing." Sawyer mumbled.  
Ana raised a hand to her cheek, feeling bruise forming there. She frowned with confusion. "You hit me," She looked up at Sawyer, "assh-le."  
Sawyer grinned, "I say jump, you say…"  
"…You first." Ana Smirked, remembering one of the first times Sawyer had had his teeth knocked out of him by Ana's fist.

Ana looked down at herself, only now noticing the torn gown she was wearing. She picked at the fabric, feeling it between her fingers.

"Ana…"

Jack saw her body go stiff, she stared hard at the fabric in her hands like everything around her had vanished. He drew in a sharp breath, waiting for Ana to speak. Move. Blink. Something that would let him know she was still alive, but it was obvious her mind had drifted elsewhere, but it didn't stop him from calling her name again.

"Ana…"

She heard Jack calling her name, could feel all of their eyes burning into her, watching as she stood there, as if in a trance – face blank, body absolutely still.

Blurred, distorted images flashed through her mind like a strobe light;  
_Running through the trees,__  
__A knife plunging into her side,__  
__A small hand leading her out of a door,__  
__Being strapped down to a table – her white gown stained red._

Ana snapped out of her trance. "I need to get out of this…" She murmured, her mind elsewhere.  
"T-Theres clothes in the laundry – unclaimed luggage." Kate stared at the other woman.

One moment she was fine, the next minute a zombie. Kate didn't know what to say or do around her, afraid that she would snap and hurt someone. She had heard the woman screaming in her sleep, saw the tears falling from her eyes as she fought with something in her dreams – something Kate didn't want to find herself face to face with. Her eyes caught Ana's and she saw nothing…

When Jack and Sawyer had returned to the hatch with an unconscious Ana in the southerners arms she had no idea that Ana would be like this. When Claire had returned to them she had lost all her memory, but she was almost exactly the same.. the only word she could use to describe Ana's state was 'off.'

"Thanks." Ana turned to leave the room,no one objected – tried to stop her. All of them standing in awe, not knowing what to do or say to the newly returned member of their group.

Sawyer stood up straight as Ana walked past – she paused, "How long have I been gone?" she looked at Sawyer – asking no one in particular.

"About a month." She heard Locke say – one of the only things he'd said during the whole thing.

Ana only nodded, then she turned and left, heading towards the hallway – almost robotic – leaving the others in the room to watch her go.

"They've done something to her." Sawyer said as soon as she wasn't able to hear them, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind him. "That's not Ana out there."

He was right and they all new it.

"It's the shock Sawyer, it'll wear off." Kate turned to Jack "Right?" her voice filled with unease, they all felt the same. _What if Ana had changed? Had her mind been used a playground to the others, doing whatever they pleased to her brain just to see how far they could go before destroying her completely?_

Ana stepped into the hatch bathroom, a bundle of clothes in her hands. She stared like a Zombie. Sliding the door behind her, snapping the lock into place, going through the motions like it was programmed into her.

"It's hard to say…" Jack looked out to the direction she had gone.  
"she's been gone an entire month, who knows what they could have done to her in that time."

Ana placed the clothes on the small stool by the sink, she stood in front of the mirror, staring blankly at herself. She had lost weight, and her skin was noticeably paler. Her reflection looked strange to her.

"There is a slight chance that she might not even get better."

She looked deep into her own eyes, finding nothing but but a never ending black, like her soul had been ripped from her – taking away every inch of her being and leaving behind only her body, an empty shell slowly filling with nothing but confusion and pain."there's also a chance she will only get worse..."

Something inside her snapped – her face contorted with rage, and she lashed out. Her fist smashing the glass – and now there were several more strangers looking back at her.

She couldn't stand to look at herself. She lashed out again, and again, her fists pummelling the glass until there was nothing left but a thin wire frame and sliced open knuckles.

Ana let out a frustrated cry. Sinking to the floor, rocking herself backwards and forwards, tears streaking down her face as she sobbed.

"…And there will be no way of helping her…"


	3. Chapter 3

Ana hopped up onto the kitchen counter, her legs hung over the edge and she stared into the distance, her mind in a world of her own. She didn't care that there was a pair of hands tugging at her grey t-shirt which clung slightly to her body, and lifted it up till it was just covering her bra.

"There seems to be nothing broken" Jack felt along her ribcage. "Theres some slight bruising but other than that—" Jack stopped as his fingers ran along a slight break in her skin. A scar the size of a fingernail was just below her ribs, another peeking over the top of her jeans..

Ana's mind snapped back to reality, she looked at Jack, silently pulling her shirt back down, her eyes locking with his as they told him to ask no questions.

'Other than that," Jack cleared his throat, his eye contact breaking. "You seem to be fine."

Ana nodded, her gaze turning back to the wall in front of her.

She had been switching on and off like that since she got back, and each time Jack had no clue how to snap her out of it, simply allowing her mind to come back of its own accord. He looked down at her hands, knuckles cut crusted over and dried blood.  
"Ana what happened?" Her hands were fine when they found her…

"An accident." Ana mumbled as Jack reached for a bottle of iodine and some bandages.

She hissed as he placed a cloth on her hands, the iodine seeping into her cuts and making them sting.

"Sorry." Jack said. He pulled the bandages out of their packaging and carefully wrapped them around her hands.

"Thanks." Ana hopped off the counter, eagerly wanting to get out of the hatch and back to the beach. The air was awkward between Jack and her, She could feel his concern for her but also got the feeling that he wanted to ask her so many questions… questions she couldn't answer, Questions she didn't want to answer because it meant she would have to remember what had happened to her, And right now Ana didn't want to know any of it.

"If you need anything…" Jack looked at Ana.

"Yeah, I know the drill." Ana picked her duffle bag of clothes she had found in the hatch, off the ground and casually threw it over her shoulder.

"There's someone I need to see."

And Jack nodded in response. "Be careful out there...Do you want me to walk with you to the beach?"

Ana shook her head and offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Thank's but I'll be fine."

Jack watched her leave. He didn't want to alarm Ana, her mind already a mess since her return, but there was something he found while inspecting her wounds, and he was pretty sure the Others were the cause of it.

Eko stood inside the newly built church. He walked over to the podium at the front of the room, he ran a hand down one of the legs keeping the podium standing, fingers running along the smooth wood. He stopped once his fingers reached the top of the leg, feeling the fabric wrapped around it…leather.

Ana's stick was making up the podium.

When Jack had told him that Ana had disappeared Eko went into a fit or rage. He had screamed, wrenching the posts making up the church's frame, much to Charlie's dismay, sending it crumbling.

He stormed into the jungle, axe in his hand searching for Ana.

-Flashback-

_Deep in the jungle, far from the beach – home to the survivors of oceanic flight 815 – Night had fallen, and Eko had halted his search, for some much needed rest. His eyes closed for a second, his body growing tired, the heat from the fire making him sleepy._

Suddenly a scream pierced the air, and Eko's eyes snapped open. He leapt from the ground - axe held tightly in his hand.

Ana was standing in front of him, her jeans and black singlet she always wore was now replaced with a long white gown, she was crying and dark circles hung under her eyes. Her hands were covered in blood.

The Axe dropped to the ground, and suddenly Ana was grabbing his shoulders, leaving bloody handprints all over him.

"Please!" She sobbed, "Don't let them do it!"

Eko shook his head, not understanding.

"Don't let them pull the trigger!"

Ana pressed her hands against her head, squeezed her eyes shut and screamed.

Eko's eyes snapped open and he gasped. It was daytime, and the fire had died down so only a few embers were left amongst the ash.

It was all a dream.

-End Flashback-

"Guess I won't be getting that back." Eko spun around.

There at the entrance of the church was Ana Lucia.

Her hair was pulled back into her usual ponytail, she was wearing clean clothes – a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt. There were dark circles under her eyes like in his dream and cuts and bruises covered her arms. Her hands were wrapped in bandages.

Eko's jaw dropped.

_No…_

He shook his head, he was dreaming again.

"I like what you've done with the place." Ana smirked when Eko said nothing.

"Ana…You are really here?" Eko stood, shell shocked.

"In the flesh."

Eko smiled, and then he was pulling her into a hug, tears falling down his face.

She was really back, he knew in his heart that this was definitely not a dream.

News traveled quickly amongst a small community.

Ana had left the church and Eko after they had talked. She told him about Sawyer and Jack finding her in the woods, about her lost memory and about her breakdown in the bathroom.

And Eko had listened. Silently giving her the support that she needed without the scrutiny and questions lurking beneath the surface like with the island doctor. Ana was grateful, she needed someone to listen. She could talk to Eko.

No sooner had she left the church, her duffle bag over her shoulder had she been bombarded by 30 or so survivors, all huddled in a group ready to welcome her back.

Libby, Hurley, Claire (with Aaron), Charlie, Sun, Jin, Sayid, Michael and many other faces smiled out at her.

"Welcome back, Ana." Ana smiled at Libby, and the words "Welcome back" echoed around her.

Ana looked to Hurley who grinned at her, he had lost a noticeable amount of weight since she last saw him, and even baby Aaron had grown.

One by one she received handshakes from everyone, people she didn't even know knew her.

The last person was Michael, Ana noticed that he found it hard to look at her, guilt written across his face.

"Good to see you back, Man." Ana extended a hand, and Michael realized that she didn't remember his return from his search for Walt.

"Yeah, you too." Michael reluctantly shook her hand.

"Alright break it up!" Sawyer pushed his way through the crowd surrounding Ana. "I think Lucy's had enough of the circus folk for one day." The southerner winked at Ana.

"See you later." Libby whispered to Ana before turning around, hand in hand with Hurley and leaving Ana with Sawyer as the rest of the crowd dispersed.

"Thanks." Ana said, not really ready for a family reunion.

"No problem LuLu." Sawyer smirked again and wider.

Ana headed towards her shelter, which was situated further along the beach, away from prying eyes and people she felt would bother her. She was surprised to see her little tent still standing.

"Do you know how hard it was to keep those clowns from stealing your stuff?" Sawyer came up behind her.

"It's not like I had anything worth stealing," Ana shrugged. "Wait.. _You_ kept this up for me?"

"No big deal, Chica." Sawyer shrugged, covering slight embarrassment at his good deed having been discovered. "Now you gonna go in or what?"

Ana pulled open the tarpaulin sheet serving as a door and stepped inside. Her blankets, as well as her jacket and a few baskets of fruit (which would probably be rotten by now) were sitting inside as if she had never left. She dropped her duffle bag onto the sand.

"No need to thank me, Sugar." Sawyer grinned and Ana turned to face him, her eyes locked with his. "I got something of yours."

He placed a cool metallic object in her hand. "figured you'd want this back." Sawyer said.

Ana looked at him quizzically. She opened her hand – sitting in her palm or her hand was her army knife. Sawyer had taken it from the hatch and cleaned it, stuffing it into his pocket and carrying it with him wherever he went.

Ana's hands shook, the knife slid through her fingers and landed with a 'thud' onto the sand. She began to breathe faster, her heart raced and she dropped to her knees.

Sawyer crouched down beside her, he grabbed her shoulders _Sh-t what did I do?_

"Ana?" He shook her. "Ana what is it? Talk to me!"

-Flashback-

_Henry had his arm around her throat. They were in the armory, Ana struggled to freee herself from his grasp. She couldn't breathe._

"Let's see if he was right." Gale snarled into her ear, and with a malicious smile he plunged the knife deep into her back, right above her kidney.

-End Flashback-

Ana cried out in pain, she looked at sawyer in fear, shaking she lifted top up above her belly button, and her hand reached around her back, feeling around her kidneys for any signs of a knife being there. She froze when her hand found what she was feeling for.

She turned around, and Sawyer's eyes widened. Breaking the surface of her skin was a scar, and Sawyer realized that it wasn't Henry's blood that covered the knife when he found it.

It was Ana's.


End file.
